In a multicultural society, it is even more difficult to avoid relationship difficulties. Some couples prefer to find their romantic partner within their cultural background in order to avoid relationship difficulties. However, partners often discover that even though they may share a cultural background and a mother tongue, their loved one is a very different person and they still need to do the work of negotiating the differences. It may happen that there are more substantial issues to be resolved – differences in values, life or career goals, physical distance, over-involved family members, substance abuse, unusual sexual preferences, mental health disorders, trust and jealousy issues, or difficulty in finding a partner in a first place. Whatever your unique situation is, at Psytherapy Private Practice it will be treated with the strictest confidentiality.
A romantic partnership is the most intense, enriching, and unique experience that contains friendship, but cannot be compared to it. Only romantic partners are privileged to get to know each other on the level that nobody else will ever do. It is our romantic partners, who most often witness our vulnerability, tenderness, and insecurities, including those, evoked by the relationship itself. It is our romantic partners, we most often turn to for support and disclosure. Furthermore, our overall wellbeing, life path, and even career choices are often closely related to the chosen partner. With such a high emotional investment in our loved ones, disagreements and differences tend to seem even more threatening and urgent to resolve.
Being so closely involved with your partner, often means that one can naturally lose perspective and struggle to evaluate relationships adequately. This may result in abusive, neglectful, unhappy, or otherwise unhealthy unions. If you noticed that on most of the days you feel unhappy or unsatisfied with your relationship, this might be a sign that it needs to be looked at with the help of the third, neutral party, such as your psychotherapist. Feeling unhappy in a relationship does not necessarily mean that you made a wrong choice or should end the union. Most often this means that there might be unrealistic expectations or lack of skills necessary to nurture love. It is not enough to love someone, we must act in loving ways. It may happen that our own baggage prevents us from feeling or acting in loving ways.
If you are unsure whether you would like to preserve your relationship, then psychoanalytic psychotherapy will give you space and guidance needed to reflect on your values, feelings, and beliefs about what relationship is right for you. If you are certain that you would like to preserve your relationship, then establishing one’s own attachment style and contribution to the difficulties is the first step towards resolving them. Psychoanalytic psychotherapy is highly effective with complex difficulties, such as feeling trapped, jealous, betrayed, having an emotionally intense relationship, starting again, or paradoxes of loving, and wanting to leave.
Your psychotherapist will help you establish what skills you may need in order to continue building intimacy with your partner. With the help of cognitive behavioural therapy, you will learn the skills necessary for improving your communication, resolving conflicts, controlling emotions, or acting assertively.
Relationship therapy is an effective way to put these skills into practice by inviting your partner to attend a session. Your psychotherapist will help you both to practice a variety of skills acquired in your therapy, slowing you down, pausing, and inviting you to pay attention to your patterns of communication. You may ask any questions about the relationship you may have and benefit from psychoeducation offered.
Any form of therapy will benefit not only those in a relationship but also those who want to find love or struggle in finding it. You may discover that there are certain beliefs, actions, or patterns that contribute to difficulty in achieving your goal.
If you are unsure about what therapy can offer or would like to work on yourself at your own pace, please have a look at the online course that can be found by clicking on Better Relationships.